Grief Revisited

 

CS blog pic

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.
– Seneca

 

My sister died two weeks ago.

 
Our family has been shattered once again.

 
Sitting at the table at a rare family dinner a few days ago, I thought about the chairs that will never again be filled by not just one dear one, but now two dear ones.

 
Moments like that are when I think that I simply cannot live with this pain, doubled.

 
Yet I must live.  Because of the dear ones who are still here.  Because that is what Kai and Christy would tell me I must do.  Because as long as I have breath, I have a purpose here on this earth.  Because with the lessons I am learning, lessons borne of loss and pain, I know that I have much to give.

 
So it is with the most courage I can find within myself that I will live, and follow the advice of a wise friend who told me to breathe, pray, focus on the good memories of my loved ones who have gone on, and do a lot of PT.  That’s military-speak for exercise.

 
These things, he told me, are what will push you through the hard times.

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